For a long time, I only saw emotions discussed in the context of tissues and fuzzy blankets and graphics in cursive. There’s nothing wrong with that vibe. It just wasn’t for me, so I wrote them off as nuisances, as many do.

Then came therapy. I quickly learned that emotions are as analytical as they are warm and fuzzy, which opened my mind to a new world. I want to do the same for others, which is a big reason I started Emotional Finance.

To do that, let’s start with the basics. I’m going to define emotions, explain their purpose at a high level, and introduce a few important ideas that will show up again and again in future articles.

What are emotions?

An emotion is when our mind and body work together to signal that something important is happening and, when needed, prepare us to respond. It can begin with an external event such as a car swerving toward you, or with an internal event, such as a thought about a crush.

The event triggers an emotional response that includes three interconnected parts:

• Experiential (how it feels): Our internal feeling, which varies from person to person since the same situation can stir up different emotions at different intensities. For instance, a poor test grade may cause mild frustration in one person and overwhelming fear in another.
• Physiological (what your body does): Automatic physical changes outside your control. With fear, you may feel a racing heart, muscle tension, or “butterflies” in your stomach.
• Behavioral (what you do): The outward expression or action. Fear might lead you to clench your jaw, freeze, shout, or run away.

This helps to clarify an important distinction. 

Feelings vs. Emotions: What’s the Difference?

An emotion is three pieces: an internal feeling, automatic body reactions, and changes to how we think or act. Meanwhile, a feeling is just the internal feeling, or one part of the three-piece emotional puzzle.

Why do we have emotions?

They help us navigate life.

Some emotions support our basic survival:

• Disgust helps keep us away from contamination and disease, which is why mold, rot, or bodily waste often make us feel bad.
• Fear puts us on high alert—often before we’ve thought through a situation—to protect us from imminent danger.
• Surprise makes us focus on something important and unexpected, redirecting our attention to a high priority.

But emotions do more than keep us alive. They also help us thrive:

• Love helps us create romantic and platonic bonds, supporting our need for partnership, community, and care.
• Regret encourages us to reflect on past mistakes so we can make better decisions.
• Awe helps us find purpose by appreciating the vastness in nature, art, music, and spirituality.

A few more building blocks

You now have a basic definition, but emotions are far more complex than one explanation can contain. So before we go deeper in future articles, I want to introduce a few ideas that will come up often.

Primary vs. secondary emotions

Primary emotions are automatic responses. They’re deeply ingrained and likely evolved to help us act in the face of danger. For example, if someone broke into your house, you’d probably feel fear almost instantly as your body prepared you to fight, flee, or freeze.

Secondary emotions come afterward. After a break-in, you might feel disgust toward the perpetrator, anger about the violation, or guilt if others were harmed. Everyone’s reaction will vary based on their thoughts, beliefs, and past experiences, which speaks to how secondary emotions are learned over time.

Basic vs. compound emotions

Basic emotions are like primary colors: a small set of core emotional experiences. While researchers disagree on the exact list, they commonly include fear, anger, disgust, and happiness.

Compound emotions are like secondary (or tertiary) colors. They form when multiple emotions blend into a new and different experience. For example, regret often mixes sadness, shame, and disappointment, though it’s still distinct from all three. This is one reason identifying emotions can be more complicated than it seems.

Emotional regulation

Our minds and bodies often encode emotional reactions into us to help us survive, but those reactions may not translate well to other environments. That’s especially true for someone who grew up with complicated family dynamics that include chronic stress, emotional neglect, or unstable relationships.

For this reason, some emotional responses are clues about our past rather than reasons to act in the present. When this happens, we need to update our response through a process called emotional regulation, where we notice an emotion, feel it, and choose how to respond rather than automatically react.

What do emotions have to do with money?

Money is tied to our basic survival, so it makes sense that it can trigger big emotions. That’s especially true if you grew up with financial scarcity, as you likely learned strong emotional reactions to keep you safe.

As a result, money can create an intense psychological burden that affects how we make financial choices. For instance, you may feel extreme anxiety before spending, regret after checking a bank account, or shame around money in general.

This is one practical reason why it’s so useful to take emotions seriously. When we understand what they’re trying to signal, we have more data to make better choices, including with money.

If you’re interested in learning more, I’ll continue to explore emotions in more depth in future articles. Make sure to subscribe below so you never miss a post!

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